Becoming Unf*ckwithable

Finding Your Sacred “No”, So Your Yes Is A “Hell Yeah”

A transformational online workshop with Lissa Rankin, MD & Guests

Take this workshop any time

Sign up for this 6-part online program with Dr. Lissa Rankin and pre-eminent faculty for a transformational training on becoming Unf*ckwithable - the art of becoming emotionally stronger and using clear boundaries to develop your relationships to new depths.

We are glad you are here.

Are you fed up with growing resentful, unappreciated, disrespected, and taken advantage of in romance, work, family life, or friendships? 

Have you been giving more than you’re receiving and you’ve hit your limit, but you don’t know how to shift the pattern? 

Do you want to stop being a doormat without becoming the exploding diva- with compassion for everyone involved?

When you’ve been raised to believe that being a “good” or “spiritual” person means avoiding conflict at all costs, not rocking the boat, pleasing others, appeasing and accommodating, and saying yes even if it means depleting yourself or making yourself sick, it can shape your life such that those raised differently see you as an easy target for exploitation. 

Those raised this way sometimes assume everyone else should share the same values. But not everyone is raised with the idea that helping others makes you valuable, worthy, kind, loving, and loved. Some are conditioned to take whatever you can get away with taking from other people, no matter what.
These two kinds of wounds make for matches made in hell if you don’t know how to protect yourself. It’s easy to blame, judge, and criticize the “takers” who exploit the generosity of the “helpers.” But that disempowers trauma survivors. 

They say we teach people how to treat us. But what if we’ve taught nearly everyone we know to expect us to accommodate their whims? 

Is it too late to change the terms of engagement in your relationship? 

No. It’s never too late. 

Now is the perfect time to start teaching people to treat you differently so you can start feeling entitled (in a good way) to being treated with dignity, respect for your boundaries and needs, and being treated with as much generosity as you extend to others.

through the keys to recovery, from being dangerously vulnerable to exploitation, to:
  • Finding the courage to become “unf*ckwithable” without becoming “the exploding doormat”
  • Breaking the pattern of the automatic “Yes” and replacing it with a sacred pause of “I’m not sure yet”
  • ​Getting clear on the embodied difference between your “Yes,” your “No,” and your “Maybe”
  • Tending to the parts that panic or feel terror if you don’t just “Jump” when others say “Jump”  
  • Learning to stand up for yourself even if nobody else will
  • ​Saying “No” even if someone else is bullying you, pushing you, or manipulating you
  • ​Knowing your needs and being brave enough to state them
  • ​Embodying the knowing that you’re still worth so much even if you’re not overgiving
  • ​Setting and enforcing firm but respectful boundaries
  • Being careful to avoid swinging 180 degrees from sweet pushover to insensitive jerk
  • No longer collapsing your boundaries when someone pushy, cunning, coy, or intimidating starts bullying, seducing or manipulating you
  • ​Educating yourself about your right to equality, fairness, and reciprocity in relationships

Online workshop

  • Insightful presentations
  • Informative interviews
  • ​Trauma-informed
  • ​A journey to loving yourself more so you can love others safely.




  • Get clear on where you harbor resentment in relationships or at work- and take back your power by taking responsibility for where you are not setting and upholding boundaries and enforcing consequences if people cross your boundaries; 
  • Understand which relationships and work situations feel relatively safe and healthy versus which ones are unsafe and need rehabilitation;
  • ​Get support from the faculty and from other students to become “Unfuckwithable”- and stop fawning people whose expectations of you are unrealistic, overly demanding, and putting you at risk emotionally, physically or spiritually;
  • Learn the difference between becoming Unf*ckwithable and becoming an insufferable asshat (because you don’t want to flip 180 degrees and become the next boundary violating diva);
  • Get practical support and grounded practice writing scripts to help support you with initiating boundary conversations so you don’t freeze on the spot when it’s time to change old, unhealthy agreements with people; 
  • Roleplay reading your scripts with other safe individuals in the class and noticing what arises so you can heal the parts that are scared to stand up for yourself; 
  • ​Practice Internal Family Systems (IFS) to get to know your “parts” that show up when you imagine confronting people who are used to taking advantage of you, saying no, letting people down, disappointing others;
  • ​Understand why spiritual bypassing may be just a phase of spiritual development that you outgrow when you’re ready, like a second puberty;     
  • Extend compassion to your parts and begin to let your brave divine “Self” lead- so you can act with more of the 8 C’s of “Self”- including the fierce aspects of Self - Courage, Confidence, Clarity, and Compassion (for your parts but also the parts of others) and also the gentle aspects of Self- Curiosity, Calmness, Creativity, and Connectedness;
  • ​​Learn somatic practices to help you stay in your body if you tend to dissociate or disembody during confrontation or conflict;
  • ​​Practice rewriting sacred contracts and renegotiating the often unspoken terms of an agreement- so you can set up others to help you shift the dynamic with as few triggers as possible.

"Being assertive and unf*ckwithable is not the same as being aggressive or unkind. It's about loving yourself, standing up for yourself and your loved ones, and living in alignment with your values. Being unf*ckwithable is about being no longer available to be used for someone else's exploitative agenda any longer. It's about teaching people how to treat you and no longer being willing to tolerate being mistreated by those who think they're entitled to you when they're not. Being unf*ckwithable is a brave, badass act of self love and love for others, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to take advantage of you." -Lissa Rankin

  • Learn a simple way to find out whether someone is likely to support your recovery process or ditch you because you’re no longer cooperating with their agenda; 
  • ​​Exercise discernment and get clear on who it’s safe to be close with- and who it’s not;
  • ​Learn how to get pickier about who you let close when you meet new people, rather than just inviting everyone to take advantage of you and letting them get away with it;
  • ​​Practice setting up long term loved ones for success as you change and grow, inviting them to grow with you;
  • ​Gain insight into why we employ all manner of protective strategies to avoid conflict, even if we know we must confront people in order to protect ourselves and become unfuckwithable;
  • ​Understand the psycho-education behind what happens in your nervous system and psyche when conflict is needed but you collapse instead of standing up for yourself;
  • Learn about spiritual bypassing and why we need to deprogram those belief systems in order to reorient our moral compass and change our ideas of what it means to be a good, moral, or “spiritual” person;
  • ​Learn the red flags of malignant narcissism and sociopathy so you can spot people who seek out pushovers to exploit and manipulate as narcissistic prey;
  • Understand the psychology of narcissism and sociopathy so we don’t dehumanize those we might need to stand up to and go from pushover to perpetrator;
  • ​Explore alternative strategies for being loving, generous, compassionate and kind- without giving away endless hall passes.
  • ​Practice boundary setting during achievable weekly exercises that can build our confidence as we become unfuckwithable

"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." - Malcolm X

  • Are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired of attending to everyone else’s needs without getting your needs adequately met;
  • You struggle with a chronic illness and you suspect your wounded boundaries may have something to do with it; 
  • You hear your inner voice on repeat saying, “Who’s got my back?”;
  • You need practice to start standing up for yourself in a gentle, safe community of others just like you who want to get stronger in their ability to have their own backs;
  • ​You’re curious about how IFS might help support your journey to empowerment:
  • ​You want to make sure you don’t become a jerk and lose everyone you love in the process of standing up for yourself;
  • ​You’re motivated to break the pattern of letting everyone cross your boundaries and treat you like a doormat- and you’re excited to get started changing how you show up in relationships.

"When you say 'yes' to others, make sure you are not saying 'no' to yourself." - Paulo Coelho


SIX 2-hour Video Workshops

Each 2-hour mini workshop recording will offer cutting edge tools and practices for standing up for yourself, exercises to help you actualize better boundaries and clearer agreements in relationships, and support roleplaying what it’s going to take to actually become unf*ckwithable.
REMEMBER: If you have been letting people walk all over you & you’re ready to change that pattern, Recovery is a Journey & you will need help. If you can afford a one-on-one therapist, we recommend getting one. If not, we hope This less expensive program option will help you heal & break this painful pattern.
Session One
With Lissa Rankin
Reorienting Your Moral Compass Towards Your True North.
Session Two
With Lissa Rankin & Jeffrey Rediger
A Crash Course In Better Boundaries
Session Three
With Lissa Rankin & Rachel Abrams
The Physical & Mental Health Implications Of Becoming Unf*ckwithable
Session Four
With Lissa Rankin
Renegotiating Sacred Contracts & Inviting Others To Heal With You
Session Five
With Lissa Rankin
Tempering The Nervous System So We Can Handle Confrontation 
With Integrity
Session Six
With Lissa Rankin & Anasuya Godis
Putting Our Good Intentions Into Daily Practice


Heal Your Wounded Boundaries

An Internal Family Systems (IFS) Approach To Relational Boundary Negotiations

A Trauma-Informed Internal Family Systems Approach To Negotiating With Others What’s Okay & Not Okay

Get support in setting, negotiating, and respecting boundaries using Internal Family Systems, so you can protect yourself and others in order to enjoy deeper, safer intimacy, trust, empathy & respect in all your relationships.

SIX online 2-hour mini workshops.


The Boundaries Handbook

Students will also receive a PDF edition of Lissa’s unpublished manuscript The Boundaries Handbook; How To Negotiate What's Okay & Not Okay InYour Relationships.

The manuscript is divided into seven sections, which includes lessons about how to shore up your boundaries in an IFS-informed way, as well as workbook activities to help you activate and apply the lessons in daily life and everyday relationships.






Recorded Online Program
Becoming Unf*ckwithable
Please Review Our Terms HERE
If the cost of this workshop presents a financial hardship, we hope you will contact us for a sliding scale option. Please write to 

If  the cost of this program presents a financial hardship then we hope you will contact us for a sliding scale option. Please write to 

about lissa

Portrait image of Dr. Lissa Rankin
After many years of committed spiritual practice, Lissa Rankin, MD was a devoted spiritual bypasser until she got her ass kicked by several really good teachers who called her out on her neurotically tolerant “compassion (which was not self-compassionate) her anger phobia, herpremature forgiveness (which failed to hold perpetrators to account,) and her “conflict avoidance in holy drag.” 

Her shame and grief might have flooded her in the wake of this shocking awareness had she not been introduced to the Internal Family Systems (IFS) trauma healing model, which helped her understand that her spiritual bypassing part was just a part that was trying to protect her from feeling the agony of the developmental trauma she endured in early childhood. 

This realization began her journey of five years of weekly trauma healing therapy so she could heal the parts the spiritual bypasser was protecting and allow her true divine Self (what Lissa calls her “Inner Pilot Light”) to take the lead in her life, which is a humbling and ongoing journey.
Lissa is a conventionally trained OB/GYN physician who gave up clinical practice in 2010 to teach and write full time.

She has published 7 books, including the New York Times bestseller Mind Over Medicine and her latest book, Sacred Medicine, which talks extensively about the spiritual bypassing tendencies in the world of New Age spirituality and energy healing, while ferreting out spiritual and trauma healing practices that actually help.

Lissa has starred in two National Public Television specials, her TEDx talks have been viewed over 5 million times, and she leads workshops, both online and at retreat centers like Esalen, 1440, Omega, and Kripalu.

Lissa lives bi-coastally, part time in the San Francisco Bay Area with her daughter Mira, her housemate April, and her puppy Gaia and part time in Boston with her partner Jeffrey Rediger

Lissa also founded the Whole Health Medicine Institute, where she and a team of luminary faculty train physicians and other health care providers about “Whole Health,” the “6 Steps to Healing Yourself,” and the importance of healing trauma as a necessary adjunct to any conventional medical treatment in patients with chronic or life-threatening illness.
Lissa has starred in two National Public Television specials, her TEDx talks have been viewed over 5 million times, and she leads workshops, both online and at retreat centers like Esalen, 1440, Omega, and Kripalu.

Her latest project is Heal At Last, a non-profit project committed to addressing the health equity issues around cutting edge trauma healing and trauma-informed medicine, which is often a luxury good not available to those who need it most. 
Lissa lives bi-coastally, part time in the San Francisco Bay Area with her daughter Mira, her housemate April, and her puppy Gaia and part time in Boston with her partner Jeffrey Rediger.


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Please contact us by sending an email to
What kind of technology will I need in order to participate?
In order to participate in this course, you will need to access our learning platform through a web browser like Chrome or Safari. Teachable is a platform that hosts all the material for the course. 

You will need a good connection to the internet. You can use a desktop computer, a laptop, a tablet, or a smartphone.
Do you offer stipends or adjustments?
We believe that money should not be an obstacle to healing. If you currently do not have the means please write to
I am visually impaired
A person who is visually impaired will be able to navigate our content using a reader and other common navigational tools. We do not rely on slides or other visual representations.
Screenshot of Lissa Rankin teaching in a video
Where can I access the recorded calls?
Once you have signed up you will log in to our learning platform where you will find all recordings and material. It takes time to provide the content after a call. Usually we will post within 24 hours. You will have access to everything for the indefinite future.
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We are not resourced to make calls to individuals. You can reach us by email at
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Once you make a payment it triggers a series of events and expenses on our side from payment processing costs to adding you to lists and platforms. If you cancel, we cannot recoup those costs and will have to pass them on to you. Please read our terms carefully before you make a purchase. Terms
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